The rocky road to horsemanship: Finding the strength to get up

This year I found myself in Level 4 hell.  In case you are new to this blog, I passed the original Level 3 equivalent in 2003 with Jolie, my first Parelli partner, at the end of my first module at the Florida ranch, then dubbed the «10 week school».  It was at that time the first milestone requirement before being invited to apply to train as a future Parelli Professional; nowadays that entry point is the Fast Track.  Jolie was the horse that brought me to Parelli in 1999 and thanks to her, I discovered a whole new way of being with horses.  Sadly, she had to be retired immediately after I earned my green string from Pat Parelli himself.  At graduation, Pat told us that achieving Level 3 was only the beginning, a «license to learn».  It is only years later that I truly began to understand what he meant.

Jolie and I in Florida in 2003

As many of you may already know, Menina is Jolie's daughter and the perfect horse I had always dreamed of.  I imagined her, bred her and raised from the day she was born.  She is my dream horse, super talented, athletic, smart, spirited, sensitive, with outstanding bloodlines.  She also turned out to be a very challenging horse to develop, and I have written several blogs about our journey, which you can find here by looking under the label Menina.


With Jolie retired and Menina just a baby, I found myself without a saddle horse to attend Parelli University.  A good friend of mine, Mark Russell, offered to loan me a mare he had rescued from a very bad environment for my year of study at the ranch.  Easter entered my life.  She had been abused as a young horse and had a very poor start, and Mark had begun retraining her, but she still had baggage, lots of it.  She was rideable, but far from confident, and I ended up restarting her while at the ranch.  During my Uni modules, I rode many other project horses while studying for my first star, and at the same time, developed Easter and my rambunctious young filly.  I started Menina in her second year with the help of my mentors and peers in Colorado.

One my way home after achieving my first star in 2005, I dropped off Easter at Mark's place.  She had made huge progress and Mark was very pleased with what he saw;  he let me know that he would sell her to me before anyone else if I chose to take her.  Unfortunately, the price tag was well beyond my means.  I said goodbye and with a heavy heart, left her in Tennessee. I returned to the ranch the next winter for continued education and took Menina with me.  I was riding her, but she was still very green, and very challenging.  I got bucked off hard near the end of my course while riding in the playground.  At my exit interview, my mentors asked me to return 9 months later for the next part of my training, this time with a Level 4 horse, amongst other conditions.  My plan also included losing a lot of extra weight and getting very fit for a Colt Starting course with Pat Parelli and Rob MacAuliffe.  I had a lot to prove, and a very short time to get it done.  At that point, I was faced with a critical decision:  finding a brand new horse and taking it through the levels in nine months, or going to get Easter who was already approaching the required level.  I called Mark, he still had her and we negotiated a deal.  I borrowed the money and we arranged to meet in Connecticut to so I could take my new partner home.

Easter, my second Level 4 partner

Easter and I were able to demonstrate an appropriate level of horsemanship and she helped me earn my second star in 2007.  This coincided with Parelli's decision to modify the levels program.  Levels 1, 2 and 3 became easier, and the new Level 4 became the standard required for professionals.  It was quite similar to the Level 3 I had earned four years prior.  However, we were not granted an automatic Level 4 - we were asked to resubmit our auditions and demonstrate we had kept our horsemanship current.  Despite a lameness issue that kept cropping up, I started filming with Easter while still at the ranch; but she was uncomfortable and we ran out of time to get it done.  Easter went home lame and after months of vet exams and trying to get her back to sound, it became obvious she would not be physically able to continue with the level of training required to finish Level 4.  The physical scars from her past had caught up to her.  I passed most of my On Line with Easter but we came 2 minutes short of completing that savvy, and I had give up on getting it done that year.

Menina was coming along and she got promoted as my new primary saddle horse.  Still challenging however, and during subsequent visits at the ranch, I had the opportunity to get help from both Pat and Linda on how to manage this very complex mare.  I could clearly see that doing any of the Level 4 tasks was not going to be physically or mentally difficult for her, she is a natural athlete and a very quick learner.  However, I needed to develop a different style of leadership and partnership to convince her that my ideas were good ideas.  She was my first LBE horse, and what a learning curve that was!

Menina as a young horse, she loves airs above the ground!

I worked very hard these last few years developing Level 4 with Menina.  I mostly had to work very hard on MYSELF.    I was the one doing the bulk of the learning, she already knew it all and was waiting for me to get it!  The more focused I got on outcomes, the worse our relationship would get.  I was still thinking and behaving like a predator and she was the mirror.  I'm LBE, I really need results to feel successful; the idea of relaxing and enjoying the journey can be a challenging concept for me!  Meanwhile, I earned my third star after spending another five months at the Parelli ranch in 2010 which included time at Pat's barn, interning with Kalley and teaching the Fast Track.  During that summer, Menina came up lame for several months and I had to give her a rest.  Xrays showed that she had damage to her right hind fetlock that would likely limit her in the future, so while I addressed the issue with various nutritional changes, trim and treatment, I started looking for another horse to develop.  Blue Moon came into my life in the spring of 2011. 

Fast forward to the 2011 Summit, Parelli Professionals were allotted one year to complete Level 4 in the required savvies.  That meant all four savvies for 3 Star Instructors.  Despite all my efforts, hard work and long stays at the ranch, I still had not succeeded in officially completing any of the savvies.  At home, I boarded my horses at a very busy hunter/jumper barn and putting together auditions in that environment had proved impossible.  I just could not get the arena time and lacked the space and facilities to film or even practice some of the required tasks (especially on line and at liberty which require space and obstacles).  Without a partner or family close by to help with filming, and unable to find someone willing to do it, I postponed the idea of auditions until I could find a better set of conditions.   

We were given permission to film our auditions with someone else's horse, but to me, that was out of the question.  I truly feel that part of earning Level 4 is showing that you have the ability and knowledge to develop and bring up your own horse.  I believe that simply checking off tasks with a horse that someone else brought along would have robbed me of a large part of the learning and sense of completion that I needed to feel whole; I was not prepared to go that route.  I was determined to stick to my principles, regardless of consequences.  

I found a new boarding situation in early 2011, a small family owned property which lacked the luxury of an indoor arena, but had a round pen (a first for me!) and where I could have the whole place to myself during the day to advance my training and set up any obstacles I needed.  I borrowed more money so I could spend the winter on 2012 in Florida to focus on my horsemanship and surround myself with supportive friends and peers.  I played and rode with my horses every day, sometimes to the point of exhaustion.  I had been ignoring my body for a few years and it was a wreck, yet I simply could not find time to recover.  I just kept on going, I was determined to succeed.

Menina at the Game of Contact course in 2011

My first attempt to resubmit On Line failed.  So did the second one.  I was shell shocked, and my confidence was eroded.  I blamed the audition process and started losing my desire to try.  Thankfully at that point, Carol Coppinger stepped in.  I found a mentor!  She came to assess me with my horses and I was confident I was in good shape.  I was in for a shock and a huge dose of humble pie.  I thought I was ready to pass Level 4.  I was told I was not.  I had tasks, but I did not have quality.  I hit a massive wall, splattered like a bug on the windshield.  Anger, denial, chaos, I went through the whole range of emotions -- and almost quit.  I felt defeated, incompetent, used, betrayed, useless, crushed.  Years spent training in the various iterations of the Mastery Program and Parelli University, and I was not ready?  I could not believe it!  I felt like all this time, energy, money, years of sacrifice dedicated to my horsemanship were annihilated in that one moment.  Dragons from my past that I thought vanquished reared their ugly heads and started haunting me.  Carol came to see me twice and got pretty tough with me, pulling me up by the bootstraps, and kicking my sorry butt back into action again... it was appropriate, I really needed that kind of Phase 4 to pull me out of the hole I was digging for myself.  So I kept on trying...  until I had no choice but to head back to Quebec.  Facing massive financial issues, several health issues and having to resort to going back to an office job when I got home, life got even more challenging.  At that point, Carol sent me this wise note «Nothing is beyond the reach of determination.  Never give up... Just rest a while».  The advice was wise, but there was no rest possible.  I was juggling horsemanship time, work, health and personal issues, juggling to make ends meet and doing what I could to keep my Parelli business going.  It was a challenging summer and I started feeling lost and alone once more. On Carol's advice, I decided to send in the Finesse footage I had from Florida along with my new and improved flying lead changes filmed a few months later in Quebec, and I actually passed. A shimmer of light appeared at the end of the long tunnel.

I worked at this all summer, simultaneously putting a foundation on Blue Moon and trying to solve the issues that kept cropping up in my relationship with Menina.  I was tired, I was physically in pain most of the time, I felt alone and there are many days when I thought I was not going to make it.  The little flame of passion and dedication I have carried with me for all those years got very faint, and for a time, I thought it had extinguished.  But every day I got up and put one foot in front of the other, put together a plan and got myself to the barn.  I was in Level 4 hell.  It was not fun any more, it had become work, it was a job.  Of course, my horses mirrored that attitude, which was not helping our progress.  I felt guilty for imposing my timeline on them, for training hard in an arena with less than ideal footing which I knew could damage the horses, for pushing harder than I would have ideally wanted to because September 1st was approaching fast and the pressure kept mounting.  The consequences of not succeeding were very real, and everything I had built in the last 10 years was at stake.  How could my horses understand?

Just as things could not be much worse, my camera quit working!  I brought it in for repair and it took 7 weeks to get it back.  I looked for one to borrow, but video cameras are not popular in my entourage, and the only one I could find was not compatible with my computer.  I did not have the funds for a new one.  I had to wait!  It turned out to be a blessing because rather than only thinking about filming, I had to focus on refining the ingredients I would need to be ready.


By the time I got the camera back, I finally felt I had a good Freestyle audition with Menina, one I was reasonably proud of, and I passed my second savvy.  Riding always came easier to me that ground skills.  I have spent the last 40 years on horseback, but only 12 of those years playing on the ground!  Mastery of any skill only comes after 10 000 hours, I needed more hours on the ground.  I was left with finishing my remaining 2 minutes of On Line (yes, the circling game was my pitfall!) and all of Liberty.  The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time and I was 3/4 of the way there.  But life kept on happening.  On the way home from Florida, Menina had nearly died from an allergic reaction to the treatment I was using to help her joint, so I had stopped using it.  She came up lame again, and I had to give her another long rest.  Blue Moon was near ready for the On Line portion so I started filming the required 2 minutes and barely got it together for a pass.  It was not great, it was just ok, but it was off my plate.

I shifted my focus to finishing Liberty with Menina who seemed to be recovering.  We had all the ingredients, but as I attempted filming, I could see her struggling physically and mentally, she was leaving me and not happy.  This is when I decided to call the vet again and we ultrasounded her joint.  It was bad news, really bad news, and this time, the damage was irreversible.  I was told she would never be able to finish Level 4 or move on to performance as I had dreamed.  I was devastated.  She could at best be a good trail riding horse.  Anger, denial, chaos, acceptance.  It was late August, I was not going to meet the September 1st deadline AND I had to retire my dream horse.  Blue Moon was simply not ready.  Hell got hotter.

I have been told my determination borders on insanity.  However, at that point, I was left with no choice but to LET GO.  There was nothing else to do.  I could quit, accept failure and crumble.  I chose instead to start having fun again and to take care of my horses and of myself. I needed to get back to the core of the Parelli foundation, putting the relationship first and allowing the horse to be in charge of the principles and the timelines.  I apologized profusely to Menina and promised her the best life she could have.  Along with Easter, now 17, her needs had to come first and the only outcome was to keep her sound in mind and body.  Just because I was in hell, my horse did not need to be.  For the first time in months, the little flame slowly started burning again. 

Blue Moon, my new L4 partner

I continued playing with Blue Moon, but this time, I made sure we kept it varied and fun.  I was not going to repeat the mistakes I made with Easter and Menina, and this time, I wanted to keep intact the great relationship we already had.  I truly started exploring how to get more accomplished by doing a lot less.  Without regard for human judgment and opinion, I wanted my horse to show me I had earned Level 4 and I needed to feel proud of what we had accomplished together.  I also wanted to avoid another break down.  I worked on advancing the whole package, relationship, savvys, phases, tasks, tweaking and refining, and once in a while, sending in a video to my coach for advice.  It's amazing how much information can be communicated in a very short sentence!  «You need more connection» «Try doing your lead changes over a log»  «Use less carrot stick» «Lift the ribs» and the best one: «Relax and breathe!».  She did not send me paragraphs, she sent me one liners!  It was of course spot on, and just enough information to get me thinking and looking for the right bits of savvy so I could improve what needed to be improved.

The less Liberty I did, the better it got.  Another really important concept here.  By working on the ingredients of the relationship, calmness, connection, responsiveness, our Liberty started coming together much easier.  End of September, fall has settled in and I'm running out of good weather, so I decided to film an audition, just to see what would come out of it.  It thought it turned out good enough to send, but it did not feel great.  I had to do several takes, and by the end of the session, I was sick of it and so was my horse.  Not a great place to end.  Several weeks passed, bad weather had set in and still no news from the audition team.  Waiting is absolute torture for an LBE!  I did short sessions here and there between storms, again just tweaking the ingredients since our footing was soggy and very unstable, and advancing our circling game when I could.  Then the sun appeared again, the footing dried up just enough and I pulled out the video camera once again.  By now,  I've pretty much won my Friendly Game with filming and can finally almost forget it's there.  With an official audition already in the pipeline, this was just to see our progress and a back up in case we might need to do it again.  I was learning to take the pressure off.  It was a lovely session, everything flowed, felt easy and light.  Blue Moon and I finished feeling great and very connected, our best session ever.  It had a few technical flaws, our flying lead changes were not the best we've had, but we got it all done in one take with a happy horse the whole time who kept her eyes and ears on me for a long time even after I left the arena.  Blue Moon told me it was Level 4, and I knew it too;  I felt very happy and proud.  Carol agreed when she saw the footage.

Interestingly, my relationship with Menina started to truly expand to another level once I learned she could not physically do the things I expected of her. I am more considerate and respectful of her limitations and in return, she is bonding even stronger and giving me a lot more in the things she can do.  She has never been so compliant, respectful and sweet as she is now that I have taken the pressure off.  The silver lining appeared, the gift hidden amongst the thorns has been revealed.

For the last year, I have been looking forward to the relief that would come once this whole Level 4 ordeal would be over!  I admit there are many days where I lost track of the true meaning of Pat's vision.  Level 3 is about curiosity, confidence and sensitivity, Level 4 is meant to be about dignity.   Having done it with my horses helped me learn the importance of keeping my dignity intact as well as theirs, and I am now proud of what we have accomplished so far.  Not because it's done, but because I feel a major shift is occurring in my perception of horsemanship and leadership as a result.  I have found a path within myself to a new level of strength, leadership and confidence, and most importantly, a strong resolve to never let outcome dictate the quality of my life or my thoughts ever again. 

Now that I have renewed my license to learn, a new step in my journey awaits and I'm starting over... but I might just need to rest a while.

Right to left: Tina Giordano and Carol Coppinger leading the 2* Instructor course in FL, Fawn Anderson, myself and Jesse Peters, assisting.

My sincerest heartfelt thanks to my support team:  Carol Coppinger, mentor extraordinaire who just refused to quit on me even when I quit on myself; Tina Giordano, for her help and encouragement during my stay in Florida; Kalley Krickeberg, who helped me unlock a big piece of my puzzle with Menina; Kristi Smith who flung open the door to learning; Michelle Donlick, friend and fellow Parelli student who not only saved Menina's life, but offered a place to rest and regroup, friendship and support when I really needed it; Julie Destrempes, Parelli student and owner of the barn, who allowed me plenty of space to be able to focus on this project and cheered me on through the tough days; Pat and Linda Parelli, for their help and teachings over the years; and last but not least, my wonderful partners Easter, Blue Moon and Menina, who have been SO forgiving of my mistakes and failings, have taught me a ton, and tried their hearts out every day.  They are truly my stars and my guides on the journey to becoming a better me! 

Click here for a great inspirational video about overcoming obstacles and the power of attitude.

The journey is the reward

Once you have stepped forward, you can never go back

What does it take for a certified British Horse Society trainer with 50 years experience to find Parelli - check out this great video sent in by David Lichman (Licensed Parelli 5* Instructor)? 

«Once you've stepped forward, you can never go back».  

Click here to see the video!

I was a Certified EC coach of many years with nearly 28 years of horse experience and not looking for another way - until my horse decided to help me!

How did you find Parelli?

Jolie and I at the Parelli Florida Ranch (2003) - Yes, that's a Blue String!  We got our Level 3 in December of that year.

Photo by Coco

Les attributs positifs des profils Horsenality

Si vous étudiez le programme Parelli, vous aurez déjà acquis des notions au sujet des HorsenalitiesTM (personnalités des chevaux) et sur la manière de les identifier.  Par exemple, vous pourriez dire «Mon cheval est CGI - il est difficile à motiver, me fait travailler plus fort que lui et cherche constamment à manger», ou «J'ai un CDE - il est résistant, tendu, impulsif, a peur de tout et veut toujours bouger ses pieds».  Les traits négatifs sont souvent ceux que l'on identifie plus facilement et qui sont utilisés pour caractériser les Horsenalities.

Toutefois, tout comme les humains, toutes les Horsenalities possèdent aussi des attributs positifs.  Les connaissez-vous?  Avez-vous fait l'expérience du côté positif de la Horsenality de votre cheval?  C'est important d'en prendre conscience, car lorsque vous allez développer votre cheval, vous allez être porté à dire que votre cheval change.  En fait, il est très probable qu'il ne fasse que révèler les traits positifs de son tempérament au fur et à mesure que vous bâtissez relation, respect et impulsion!  Vous saurez ainsi que lorsque ces traits positifs font surface, vous avez progressé!

J'ai eu le privilège de posséder 3 des 4 Horsenalities.  Mon premier cheval Parelli, Jolie, était une CDE (RBE) avec une grande force de caractère.  Easter est une CDI (RBI) avec beaucoup de bagage émotif et physique.  Menina est CGE (LBE) et très complexe.  Et Blue Moon, la dernière venue de la famille, est CDE avec de fortes tendances CGE.

 Blue Moon - rien ne lui échappe et elle aime beaucoup bouger ses pieds!

J'adore le côté positif de ma CGI - au fur et à mesure que nous avancions dans les niveaux, et que Easter est devenue confiante (le plus grand défi de cette Horsenality), elle est devenue une partenaire fiable, pleine de bonne volonté, qui essayait très fort de répondre à toutes mes demandes, à condition que je protège sa confiance et que je respecte ses seuils.  Des trois, c'est celle qui a le moins envie de bouger, celle sur qui je peux toujours compter pour s'arrêter pile et pour rester sans broncher pendant que je discute avec des élèves ou des amis pendant des heures.  Easter est polie, gracieuse, respectueuse et gentille.  Ce sont les attributs positifs du CDI (RBI).

Menina, ma CGE, peut être très difficile.  Mais une fois que j'ai réussi à gagner son esprit et son coeur, et que nous avons développé l'obéissance, c'est une jument infatigable, qui est prête à faire face à n'importe quel défi, qui reste entièrement concentrée sur le travail à faire et qui va se donner en spectacle en le faisant.  Il y a beaucoup d'exubérance à ma disposition dans ce cheval; canalisée correctement, cela se traduit par beaucoup de performance, beaucoup d'efforts et tout semble venir facilement.  Elle apprend aussi très rapidement, est confiante dans les nouvelles situations et sur les pistes de randonnée, aime beaucoup la variété et les jeux et est très charismatique.  Elle sait toujours se faire remarquer!  C'est là le côté positif du cheval CGE (LBE).

Blue Moon, ma CDE, adore un bon leader.  Lorsqu'elle se sent en sécurité, elle ne conteste pas et est disposée à faire n'importe quoi;  de plu, elle y met beaucoup d'effort.  Elle veut faire plaisir, elle a du coeur au ventre et a seulement besoin de savoir que je prendrai soin d'elle pour tout donner.  C'est aussi un cheval très endurant - les longues sessions avec beaucoup d'allures rapides lui conviennet parfaitement.  C'est avec ce cheval que j'obtiendrai facilement mes 20 cercles au galop sans changer d'allure.  Le défi consiste à obtenir 20 cercles dans la détente et qu'elle ne fasse pas que courir sans réfléchir.  En tant que CDE, Blue Moon est très perceptive à mes aides et à mon langage corporel et répond à la moindre suggestion.  Un CDE avec une bonne impulsion est très agréable en selle car il est aussi facile de les faire avancer que de les faire arrêter.

Donc la prochaine fois que vous sentirez la frustration monter en vous en jouant avec votre cheval, consultez le diagramme des attributs positifs et imaginez ce que vous pourrez ressentir quand vous deviendrez le leader qui fera surgir le meilleur en votre cheval.  Vous trouverez une copie des diagrammes Horsenalities sous la section Téléchargements de mon site.

Restez naturels!

 Menina et Easter, au départ d'une randonnée.  Remarquez la différence de posture!

En souvenir de Jolie

Aujourd'hui marque le jour du souvenir d'un grand amour - le 13 avril 2009, j'ai dit adieu à ma première partenaire Parelli et mon cheval de rêve, Jolie Demoiselle, TB. Elle est arrivée dans ma vie bien avant que je ne sache ce que c'était que l'équitation naturelle - je cherchais un cheval sauteur, et elle pouvait sauter, même si elle avait passé plusieurs années auparavant à ne rien faire dans un boxe et avait été déclarée cheval immontable. Elle avait fortement tendance à désarçonner ses cavaliers, et c'est d'ailleurs ce qu'elle a fait la première fois que je l'ai montée. Dans mon esprit, un cheval qui rue est un cheval qui saute, elle avait un superbe pedigree et était à vendre pour une bouchée de pain - je l'ai donc ramenée à l'écurie.

Je l'ai entraînée et elle apprenait vite, et nous avons fait de la compétition en saut d'obstacles, elle avait du talent. Jusqu'au jour où elle m'a clairement fait savoir que je devais trouver une autre façon de faire, et a refusé de monter dans la remorque - ce jour là, j'ai trouvé le premier stage Parelli qui s'est donné au Québec et je l'y ai emmenée en espérant pouvoir 'corriger' mon cheval! J'avais beaucoup à apprendre!

Cette fin de semaine a été le début d'un nouveau voyage et un point tournant de ma vie. Jolie et moi avons réussi ensemble l'ancien Niveau 3; ce n'était pas un cheval facile, mais j'étais déterminée et je l'adorais. Nous avons fait l'école de 10 semaines au ranch Parelli et elle a boité durant 7 des 10 semaines là-bas. Et pourtant, elle m'a tout donné le jour de l'examen. Ce jour où Pat m'a décerné ma cordelette Niveau 3 fut la dernière fois que je montais Jolie. Elle a subi un affaissement catastrophique des ligaments suspenseurs arrière, dégradation qui était le résultat de l'état avancé d'une maladie chronique et dégénérative appelée DSLD, une condition métabolique souvent mal détectée et très méconnue.

À 17 ans, j'ai donc mis Jolie à la retraite. Je l'ai gardée et je l'ai soignée pendant plusieurs années, toujours en me disant que c'était nos derniers mois ensemble. Mais son esprit était fort, et elle voulait vivre, alors elle a vécu longtemps. Elle habitait avec mes deux autres juments et c'était la meilleure amie d'Easter. Elle nous suivait en randonnée en toute liberté, aussi loin et aussi longtemps qu'elle en était capable. Certains jours, elle trottait en tête. D'autres, elle nous suivait doucement au pas, et si elle était trop fatiguée, elle s'en retournait tranquillement toute seule à l'écurie.

En 2009, alors que je m'apprêtais à entreprendre le voyage vers le ranch Parelli, j'ai réalisé qu'elle devait nous accompagner. Elle me l'a clairement laissé savoir. Je l'ai donc emmenée, et le voyage fut pénible pour elle, mais elle est bien arrivée et elle a profité pendant quelques mois du soleil et de l'herbe de la Floride. Puis, quelques semaines avant mon retour au Québec, elle s'est mise à décliner rapidement; j'ai su qu'elle ne reviendrait pas et qu'il était temps de la laisser partir.

Nous nous sommes dit adieu le lundi de Pâques, et cette nuit-là, une énorme tempête a fait rage avec des vents violents, du tonnerre, des éclairs et un avertissement de tornade. En me levant le matin, j'ai trouvé sa tombe intacte et j'ai alors su qu'elle avait été libérée de la douleur et de la maladie. Elle a été ma partenaire et mon professeur pendant plus de 13 ans, et elle a changé ma vie. Grâce à elle, j'ai découvert Parelli et je suis ici aujourd'hui. Elle pouvait lire dans mes pensées et elle savait mes intentions, notre communication était sans égal. Ce lundi de Pâques, Easter et Menina ont aussi compris que son esprit avait été libéré.

Jolie, tu étais une amie merveilleuse et très spéciale qui m'a tant appris. Je ne t'oublierai jamais.

Remembering Jolie

Today marks a day of remembrance of great memories and a love story – April 13th, 2009 is the day I said farewell to my first Parelli partner and my spirit horse, Jolie Demoiselle, TB. She came into my life well before I knew anything about Natural Horsemanship – I wanted a jumping horse, and she could jump, even though she had pretty much been sitting in a stall for years and declared an unrideable horse. She has a strong tendency to buck her riders off, and so she did the first time I rode her.

In my world, a bucking horse was a jumping horse, and she had great papers and was cheap, so I took her. I trained her and she was a good learner, and we competed in jumping events, and she had talent. Until that day she clearly showed me I had to find another way, and refused to get on a trailer – that day, I found the first Parelli clinic in Quebec and took her there in the hopes of fixing my horse! Oh boy, did I have a lot to learn!

That weekend was the beginning of a new journey and a turning point in my life. Jolie and I finished the old Level 3 together; she was not an easy horse, but I was determined and I loved her. We did the 10 week school together in Florida and she was lame for 7 out of 10 weeks. Yet she gave me everything she had on test day. The day Pat handed me my L3 string was to be the last day I was ever going to ride Jolie.

She suffered a catastrophic failure of her hind suspensories, failure that was subsequently attributed to an advanced onset of DSLD, a chronic and degenerative metabolic disease that is often undiagnosed and misunderstood. At 17, she was retired. I kept her and took care of her for several years, thinking that might be our last few months together. But her spirit was very strong, and she wanted to live, so she did. She lived with my other two mares, was Easter’s best friend and followed us on the trails at liberty for as far and as long as she could. Some days she would trot ahead. Some days, she just walked behind, and if she got too tired, she would just turn back and walk herself back to her paddock.

In 2009, as I was getting ready to head out to the Parelli ranch, I realized she had to come with us. She told me. So I took her, and it was a rough trip for her, but she made it and spent a few months enjoying the Florida grass and sunshine. Then, a few weeks before I was due to go home, she started declining quickly, and I knew the time had come to let her go. We said goodbye on Easter Monday, and that night, a huge storm came through with howling winds, thunder and lightning, and a tornado warning. The next morning, when I got up, her grave was undisturbed despite the storm and I knew she had been set free from pain and disease.

She was my partner and my teacher for over 13 years, and she changed my life. Thanks to her, I found Parelli and I am where I am today. She could read my thoughts and sense my meaning, and our communication was unique. On Easter Monday, Menina and Easter also understood that she was leaving this earth and that her spirit had been released.

Jolie, you were wonderful and a very special friend who taught me so much. You will never be forgotten.

Year end thoughts

As the year draws to a close, my schedule slows down and I complete all the tasks left undone during the busy teaching season with more time at home, I like to take a few moments to reflect on the events of the last 12 months and to think about what I would like to see accomplished in the next year.

2009 has been tumultuous, to say the least, I would even say that it felt like a non-stop tropical storm. Filled with large scale travels, not all of them uneventful, like my extremely demanding trip to Florida in January, and my trek across Canada this summer, the year was definitely marked by travel. I made some wonderful discoveries and met some great people along the way, and I was helped and supported not only by my loved ones, but by complete strangers. I am always astounded by the generosity of the human kind, which of course is immediately balanced by our ability to be totally self-serving and sometimes unspeakable cruel. I experienced some great moments, like the day when Pat Parelli invited me to his barn to play with his horses, and the invitation to be part of the Mastery Program, my lesson with Linda, the opportunity to work on a beautiful ranch across the country under endless sunny skies; and very difficult moments - the loss of my beautiful Jolie in April, health issues that continue to slow down my progress with Easter, Menina's injuries, projects that failed, the lack of interest for Parelli clinics in Quebec and financial troubles too numerous to describe.

When I left my cushy well paid job with complete benefits in 2001 to follow my dream, it was a big jump into the unknown. I said Adios to the safety of the bi-weekly pay cheque that comes in no matter what, the complete insurance package that refunds you when you are too ill to work, vacations, retirement fund, the safety net. I chose freedom - the freedom to live and act by my own principles, the freedom to row my own boat while making all the mistakes that are bound to me made when you are learning to sail, the freedom to be myself and to be able to make a difference in others lives in a tangible and immediate manner, the freedom to breathe and move at my speed, the freedom to live passionately. Freedom is rarely easy and not always rosy, but as the people who know me well can attest, I have never been happier and I've been thriving since I left the comfort of the big ship to row against the current in my dinky little boat!

2009 is ending, and all its events are now behind me, and I am looking ahead. I intend to make 2010 extraordinary! I have the feeling I am about to explode, and to reap the fruits of all these years of hard labor, of dedication and perseverance and of sacrifice. Parelli is changing and morphing really fast, thanks to new strategies focussed on networking technologies, and since I must go with the flow, I am now present on Facebook and Twitter, in addition to this blog. I have discovered a great new way to keep in touch not only with Parelli, but with my colleagues, friends and students. I invite you all to join me on these new media.

I will soon be back on the road going to the ranch in Florida to train and to develop as a horsewoman and teacher. I vividly dream of getting my next star and Level 4, but I now know that the goal is not as important as the journey I am taking to get there. It's not mine to decide - I can dream about it, act accordingly, prepare, use the power of focus, but in the end, the horse and life will decide if I am worthy of such honors, or if there is yet something I missed and must attempt to learn, and it may have nothing to do with my horsemanship!

I am also hoping to find ways to allow many more horse lovers to walk on the path and make progress, to learn and to make a difference for their horses and the people around them. We need more clinics in more areas, we need to be able to touch alot more people, to be everywhere at once to help you in your journey. I am counting once again on new technologies to help me reach more people, but what makes the greatest difference are people - people who commit, support, help each other and work as at team. Anyone of us can make a difference in our own neighborhood, but if we join forces, we could much more and multiply the impact of Parelli in Quebec. I have behind me a strong and dynamic team - the Parelli team and the instructors who chose to be part of it. I invite you to participate in our efforts and to get out of your comfort zone to help us make this a better world for horses and people who love them. Love, language and leadership in equal doses!

I wish everyone very Happy Holidays with your loved ones, surrounded by joy. Don't forget your equine partners, then need you just as much during the vacation days. May 2010 bring you the best that life has to offer - health, happiness, love, fun and laughter, and new life lessons that will help you grow.

Geneviève
Pont-Rouge (warming up to above -20C...)

Réflexions de fin d'année

À l'approche de la fin de l'année, alors que mon horaire est moins chargé, que je termine toutes les tâches inachevées pendant la saison des stages et que je passe plus de temps à la maison, j'aime prendre quelques moments pour réfléchir aux évènements des 12 derniers mois et pour penser à ce que j'aimerais voir s'accomplir l'an prochain.

2009 a été pour le moins... mouvementée, pour ne pas dire échevelée. Ponctuée de grands déplacements, pas tous dénués d'aventures, comme mon voyage en Floride en janvier qui a été très exigeant et ma traversée du Canada cette été, l'année s'est inscrite sous le signe du voyage. J'y ai fait de belles découvertes et de belles rencontres, et j'ai été aidée et soutenue par des gens que j'aime ainsi que par de purs inconnus. Je suis toujours ébahie par la grande générosité dont sont capables les êtres humains, dont le contrepoids est évidemment notre tout aussi grand égocentrisme et parfois même notre grande cruauté. J'ai vécu de grands moments, comme le jour où Pat Parelli m'a invitée à monter ses chevaux et à faire part du Mastery Program, ma leçon avec Linda et la chance de travailler à l'autre bout du pays sur un très beau ranch et sous des cieux ensoleillés; et des moments très difficiles - le décès de ma belle Jolie à Pâques, les problèmes de santé qui continuent à ralentir ma progression avec Easter, les blessures subies par Menina, des projets avortés, le manque d'intérêt pour les stages au Québec, et de nombreux tracas financiers.

Lorsque j'ai quitté en 2001 un emploi très bien rémunéré assorti d'une couverture sociale blindée pour vivre mon rêve, c'était un grand saut dans le vide. Adieu la sécurité du chèque de paie qui arrive tous les 15 jours quoique je fasse, les assurances qui remboursent quand on est malade ou incapable de travailler, le fonds de retraite, le filet de sécurité, les vacances. J'ai choisi la liberté - liberté d'agir et de vivre selon mes principes, liberté de mener ma propre barque avec toutes les erreurs inévitables que je fais en apprenant à naviguer, liberté d'être moi-même et de pouvoir toucher les autres de façon concrète et immédiate, liberté de respirer et de bouger à mon rythme, liberté de vivre ma passion. La liberté, ce n'est pas toujours facile ni toujours rose, mais comme peuvent en témoigner mes proches, je n'ai jamais été aussi heureuse et aussi épanouie que depuis que j'ai quitté le confort du bateau pour ramer à contre-courant dans ma petite coquille de noix bien fragile!

2009 achève, tout ça est maintenant derrière moi et je porte mon regard en avant. J'ai l'intention de faire de 2010 une année extraordinaire! J'ai l'impression d'être sur le point d'exploser et de récolter les fruits de toutes ces années de travail, d'acharnement et de sacrifices. Parelli change et grandit de façon exponentielle, grâce à de nouvelles stratégies axées sur les technologies de réseau social, et puisqu'il fallait bien suivre, je suis maintenant présente sur Facebook et Twitter, en plus de mon blogue. J'y ai découvert une belle façon de garder le contact non seulement avec Parelli mais avec les collègues, amis et élèves. Je vous invite tous à me retrouver sur ces nouveaux média.

Je serai bientôt de nouveau en route pour le ranch en Floride pour m'entraîner et me développer en tant que femme de cheval et qu'instructeur. Je rêve ardemment d'obtenir ma prochaine étoile, et mon niveau 4, mais je sais aussi que le but n'est pas aussi important que le voyage qu'on fait pour s'y rendre. Et que ce n'est pas vraiment moi qui décide - je peux en rêver, agir en conséquence, utiliser mon focus, mais au bout du compte, le cheval et la vie décideront si je suis prête à recevoir ces honneurs, ou si il y a encore quelque chose qui m'échappe et que je dois tenter d'apprendre, et que cette chose n'a peut-être rien à voir avec mon horsemanship!

Je rêve aussi de trouver les moyens pour permettre à beaucoup plus d'amoureux du cheval de cheminer et d'avancer, d'apprendre et de faire une différence pour leurs chevaux et les gens qui les entourent. Il faudrait plus de stages dans différentes régions, pouvoir toucher de plus grands nombres, pouvoir être un peu partout à la fois pour vous aider dans votre démarche. Je compte encore une fois sur les nouveaux moyens technologiques pour m'aider à rejoindre plus de gens, mais il reste que ce qui fait la plus grande différence, c'est l'engagement, le soutien, l'entraide, le travail d'équipe. Chacun d'entre nous peut faire une différence dans son petit coin, mais en concertant nos efforts, nous pourrions faire beaucoup plus et multiplier l'impact de Parelli au Québec. J'ai derrière moi une équipe forte et dynamique - l'équipe Parelli et les instructeurs qui ont choisi d'en faire partie. Je vous invite donc à participer à nos efforts et à sortir de votre zone de comfort pour nous aider à changer le monde pour les chevaux et ceux qui les aiment. Amour, langage et leadership à doses égales!

Je vous souhaite à tous de très Joyeuses Fêtes entourées de vos proches et de beaucoup de joie. N'oubliez pas vos compagnons équins, qui ont tout autant besoin de vous durant les congés. Que 2010 vous apporte le meilleur que la vie puisse offrir - la santé, le bonheur, de l'amour, du plaisir et du rire, et de nouvelles leçons de vie qui vous permettront de grandir.

Geneviève

Pont-Rouge (qui réchauffe au-dessus de -20C...)

Introducing myself - Geneviève Benoit, Licensed Parelli Professional

My name is Geneviève and I am a Parelli Professional residing in Quebec, Canada. I have been studying Parelli since 1999, and became an instructor in 2005 after attending Parelli University in Florida and Colorado. I was part of the last group of professionals that actually trained with Pat Parelli, after which he stopped teaching aspiring professionals for a few years. He is now starting to do that again, which is great news!

Before Parelli, I had 30 years of normal horse experience as a rider, competitor and trainer in the hunter/jumper world, and also studied some normal dressage. My first Level 3 mare, Jolie, literally dragged me kicking and screaming to Parelli, because she would no longer put up with my normal ways. A smart and athletic TB jumper, she earned me my green string from Pat in 2003.

Jolie left us very recently for horse's heaven, after battling a degenerative disease for many years, which is why I retired her from riding right after earning our Level 3. The time had come to say goodbye, and she was laid to rest in Reddick, Florida, on Easter Monday 2009, as I ended my winter pilgrimage to the Parelli ranch.

I have her daughter, Menina, a 6 year old Half-Lusitano, smart, athletic, super talented and sensitive. She is the most challenging horse I have brought up through the levels so far, and Linda Parelli recently pointed out she is very much like Allure in her horsenality. Some days we are level 5, some days NOT, it all depends on my ability to prove my leadership to this very self-confident and intelligent super horse!

Easter is my Level 4 horse. She is a RBI, and I got her a few years ago at the age of 9, as a problem horse. She was terrified of everything, including humans, and had quite a bit of baggage. She is the spookiest horse I have ever ridden, but with the program, has evolved into a trusting, reliable and bonded partner. As long as I can take of her confidence, she is willing to do anything I ask. She is also the smallest horse I have ever owned, standing at barely 15 hands (I am known for riding very large horses!). She was born Easter day, hence her name.

I teach Parelli in French and English all over Eastern Canada, but will go wherever I am needed in the country. I go back to the Parelli ranch every winter to hone my teaching and horsemanship skills.
You can find out more about me, my horses and my services by visiting my web site at www.vifargent.com

I look forward to sharing Parelli with you! Naturally,

Geneviève Benoit
Licensed Parelli Instructor

Présentation

Bonjour!
Je m'appelle Geneviève et je suis instructeur Parelli agréé résidant au Québec. J'étudie Parelli depuis 1999 et je suis devenue instructeur en 2005 à la suite de mon séjour à l'Université Parelli en Floride et au Colorado. Je faisais partie du dernier groupe d'instructeurs qui ont été formés directement par Pat Parelli, à la suite de quoi il a cessé d'enseigner pendant quelques années. Il vient tout juste de recommencer, et c'est une excellente nouvelle!

Avant Parelli, je possédais une trentaine d'expérience dans les chevaux, en tant que cavalière, compétitrice et entraîneur dans le monde des chasseurs et sauteurs. J'ai aussi étudié le dressage à la manière normale. Ma première jument Niveau 3, Jolie, m'a littéralement traînée de force vers Parelli car elle ne supportait plus mes manières normales. Une TB intelligente et athlétique qui excellait au saut d'obstacles, elle m'a obtenue ma cordelette verte, donnée par Pat en 2003.
Jolie nous a récemment quitté pour le paradis des chevaux, après avoir combattu une maladie dégénérative qui l'affligeait depuis plusieurs années, et qui m'avait obligé à la mettre à la retraite immédiatement après l'obtention du Niveau 3. Le temps était venu de lui dire adieu, et elle s'est endormie à Reddick en Floride en ce lundi de Pâques 2009, au moment où se terminait mon séjour d'hiver au ranch Parelli.
J'ai sa fille, Menina, un demi-sang lusitanien de 6 ans, intelligente, athlétique, très talentueuse et sensible. C'est le cheval le plus complexe que j'ai développé à date, et Linda m'a fait remarquer récemment que sa personnalité ressemblait beaucoup à Allure! Certains jours nous sommes Niveau 5, d'autres pas! Tout dépend de mon habileté à lui prouver mon leadership, car elle a très confiance en elle et c'est une star!
Easter est mon cheval Niveau 4. C'est un Cerveau Droit Introverti et elle m'a été confiée il y a quelques années à l'âge de 9 ans, en tant que cheval à problèmes. Elle était constamment terrifiée, avait peur des humains et venait avec pas mal de mauvaises expériences dans son passé. C'est le cheval le plus peureux que j'ai jamais monté, mais avec le programme, elle est devenue confiante, constante et une partenaire très affectueuse. Tant que je m'assure de la garder en confiance, elle est prête à faire tout ce que je lui demande. C'est aussi le plus petit cheval que j'ai jamais possédé, à peine 15 mains (j'ai la réputation de monter de très grands chevaux). Elle est née le jour de Pâques, d'où son nom.

J'enseigne Parelli en français et en anglais dans tout l'Est du Canada, et je suis prête à aller partout où on a besoin de mes services. Je retourne tous les hivers au ranch Parelli pour perfectionner mon savoir-faire en tant qu'instructeur et que femme de cheval.

Vous trouverez plus de détails sur mon histoire, mes chevaux et mes services en visitant mon site www.vifargent.com

Au plaisir de partager Parelli avec vous! Naturellement,

Geneviève Benoit
Instructeur Parelli Agréé
Québec, Canada